There are many times that I've enjoyed the writing experience and the fruits of my labors. My blog, before life got more hectic than I could handle, was the place I spent the most of my writing time. Once specific piece wrote was after our former church's Christmas Eve service. It is below:
For the first time in our Anglican life, I went to the 5:00 family service instead of midnighht mass on Christmas Eve. This is, obviously, because this is my first Christmas Eve as a mommy. Though I had to miss my favorite service of the season, I feel far closer to the Lord and Mother Mary this year than any other.
Soon the Virgin will give birth. It is but a little less than five months ago that I labored and delivered Adeline. I labored in a warm, comfortable hospital room. I had a birth plan that indicated if and what pain medications I may want, what positions I would like to labor in, who I wanted in the room, what liquids/foods I would wish to have. I had nurses at the push of a call button, medical professionals with sterile instruments, and medical knowledge of what was happening to me. So, at this hour when when Mary would be laboring with our Savior, I think about the conditions in which she brought him into this world. Suffering and surrounded by animals, most likely without proper sustenance, and definitely without a midwife or doctor.
I wonder if Mary knew the reward that would be the world’s because of her faithfulness. I wonder if pushing was made easier by knowing that the son of God would soon emerge from her. I wonder if she was worried that something may go wrong.As soon as she was born, I knew that Adeline was made in the image of our God and that she had been set a part by Him for His purposes…but how would it feel to know that your child IS God? “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) Man, I know that feeling!
As a new mommy, I must admit I feel a little bit of guilt and regret towards Mary. I know that this day, as her Son, our Savior, is born, I have already sentenced him to death. I have sinned against my neighbor, my Savior, and, in turn, His/Our Mother. And yet, she intercedes for her Son’s murderers. Should someone (God, please forbid it) inflict pain on Adeline, would I be able to ask for his salvation in a court of law? I cannot think that I would, nor would want to. But the Blessed Virgin does so for me – and on a MUCH bigger level.
So as the clock nears 12:00 PM, I think of Mary and her labor and delivery more intently and knowingly than I ever have. I pray that someday my daughter will feel closer to Mary simply by becoming a mother, and as such will feel closer to her Savior…because once He was a baby not so different than she is now.
This piece is very much me. It is how I think, it is how I feel, it is about two of the dearest things to me; my faith and my family. What I enjoyed so much about writing this piece was the intimacy of my soul and my words colliding into a piece that others (mothers especially) could understand, and the hope that perhaps it would reveal something to the reader that they hadn't thought or felt before.
The satisfaction, for me, comes in saying something in a way that perhaps others haven't. It is being clear, with a balance of conciseness and eloquence in order to reveal something to my reader. It is being passionate about something, but reigning in that passion and excitement in order to communicate it understandably and as beautifully as possible.
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